PART TWO;” PRACTICALITY versus FASHION” -thoughts on……

PART TWO;  Muffin tops and caps …something that needs to be hidden & something to hide.

MUFFIN TOPS; something that needs to be hidden….

In this instance muffin tops have nothing to do with cakes or baking, I’m talking about the roll of flesh the pops out of the top of a pair of those low-cut,low slung jeans so popular with “the youth of today”.
Here’s a recipe; take a ‘crop-top’/'boob-tube’/'bra top’ or similar..add a pair of low-waisted jeans and whadduya get ? A ‘MUFFIN-TOP’ !
So you have the recipe and the picture in your minds-eye should be clear, depending on your imagination.
As I see it,maybe 1 in 10 young ladies could get away with that recipe…,the other 9 should consider an alternative,  but why?.
Well firstly…there’s NOTHING attractive about a roll of ‘puppy-fat’ riding over the waistband of your pants…no,uh-uh,not. Secondly , it might be more fun to try to imagine what colour/type of underwear you are wearing ,than to see your G-string trying to escape the clutches of your ‘nether-regions’ !
Oh wait…,you’d also like us to see your ‘tummy-stud/navel-piercing’…nah, no thanks,save it for the bedroom or the beach or wear it as an earring.
Worse than the girls of course, are the young guys who have taken to wearing their jeans just above their groin. Thankfully, they seem to have enough sense to wear the Tommy H boxer shorts high-on-the-waistline, but that might be down to modesty rather than good sense. How could there possibly be any comfort in having the cuffs of your pants drag behind you and the crotch of same riding around your knees ???
Some things need to be hidden and two now spring to mind.., her fat little tummy and his pimply butt !!!

If the above is an example of  “FASHION versus PRACTICALITY” in our young folk…,  here’s an example out it in our grown-ups…

CAPS;  something to hide ?

Where I live, (way down here in down-underland) we’ve become aware of the need to protect ourselves from; “the sun’s harmful rays”..about time too, it’s hot here and seems to be getting hotter.
One way of protecting yourself is wearing a hat when outdoors,

(no, not JUST a hat,proper clothing,sunscreen,sunglasses AND the hat!) but it seems people don’t realize that  A CAP IS NOT A HAT !
A good hat with a wide brim will keep the sunlight out of your eyes and shade your neck,nose and ears.., a cap cannot match that. A cap rarely has any space above your head to allow air-flow ,most hats do and thereby  keep your head cooler in the heat.
So, in spite of the hats’ practicality ,some perverse expression of fashion has made the cap our most popular type of headware. Sun or no sun, caps are everywhere,  but not so many hats, I wonder why.
I have noticed a few different “Capdoms” ,(just think of a kingdom of caps…and let’s call it a Capdom !) already  exist, the Baseball/Football Capdom,the Trucker Capdom,the Golfer Capdom and the Hip-Hopper Capdom, which would make up a fair portion of cap fanatics but  I think one real reason the cap has become so popular is because they  hide a bald patch so well.  Yep, that’s it…,the folliclely – challenged male can’t get enough o’ that cap-action, they love..well… they need the cap, gotta have the cap, they feel naked without the cap…, just watch for the change in the body language when they are forced to remove the cap.

Yes indeed,the next guy you see wearing a cap is probably a part of a “Capdom ” or has something to hide; his baldness !

“PRACTICALITY VERSUS FASHION” – thoughts on thongs,muffin tops,caps and the world’s ugliest shoe..

PART 1 ; “THONGS”  versus ” THE WORLD’S UGLIEST SHOE “

I should start by letting you know now that if  the “thongs” part in the title got your attention , when I say “thongs” ..you may say “flip-flops” or perhaps “jandals” , you might even say “Havianas”  – and if you do use the H-word then maybe you better leave now……., no I’m sorry , no please…please don’t leave just yet ,  now that those who came for the semi-naked women have already left.. ,you should stick around…together we’ll get through this.

When I’m talking thongs , I’m talking FOOTWEAR, but in fact , they’re hardly that … oh I’ll admit they can look nice on some ladies feet , they’re said to be  convenient , reasonably inexpensive ( unless you’re buying those H-BOMBS I mentioned earlier ) but they are not practical .  Useless in cold weather , they appear on feet of all types in the warmer times of the year , the very same time when feet sweat profusely , so the wearer makes all sorts of effort trying to keep some flimsy pieces of non-porous rubber from sliding around and even off their feet.

Not practical ,no no no..not at all, possibly dangerous ..maybe not quite lethal,  but dangerous all the same. Yet people wear them, lots of people… but why ?

Well ..they come in all sorts of colours and designs these days…you can “wear and walk on “  your football team,your flag, your favourite booze , your make of car…. etc.etc.etc., and as I mentioned earlier you can buy the H-BOMBS or some  other “designer” brand and pay through the nose ( now there’s one privilege the rich can keep) or pay next to nothing, which is about the right price .

It seems as though thongs have had a resurgence in popularity these past few summers so I figure that Paris Hilton/Brad Pitt/Miley Cyrus/the Jonus Brothers et al , have been seen in the press wearing this crappy footwear and that’s all it takes…, we all can’t be seen wearing anything else . That is how “fashions” seem to occur these days.

So I’m hoping one of the above or some other ‘celebrity’ is seen wearing a pair of “Crocs”  soon , yes..I know , they probably are the world’s ugliest shoe ….but they are practical and comfy ,offer more toe- protection, are a lot easier to walk in than thongs when your feet are sweaty and they too come in a variety of colours these days…not just pink,yellow, orange and purple.

Get rid of those thongs before they do you damage…..grab a pair of crocs or their cheaper imitations (which I find just as good ).. and vote for practicality over fashion .

STAY TUNED FOR PART 2; MUFFIN TOPS & CAPS…..something to hide and something that needs to be hidden .

“baby on board” … who gives a …

In my travels driving along the roads  of our lives , many things can irritate me and one that I keep noticing is those little signs (Usually triangular..with black print on a yellow background ,made to look like a traffic warning sign.) that are stuck to the rear windscreen of various vehicles …proclaiming “baby on board” , so as all of us who happen to find themselves stuck behind said vehicle can take note.

Those little signs bug me because I DON’T CARE IF THERE’S A BABY ON BOARD…, no ,not at all.If the little sign said  “BABY DRIVING THIS VEHICLE” …THEN , and only then, would I care, in fact.. I’d be very concerned !

Are these people trying to tell me that even though I had nothing at all to do with the conception of their child,I have to be extra cautious and  even forgiving towards them when I’m driving in their vicinity because they have ankle-biters in their vehicle ????

I would like to reply to those folk who display those little signs….. IF PARENTHOOD IMPAIRS YOUR DRIVING SKILLS – PLEASE USE PUBLIC TRANSPORT !!